Elvendork and Prongs
by Stop-hating-on-my-ships
Summary: Jamie Potter and Liam Evans meet in a coffee shop and refuse to tell each other their real names. After (some) blackmail on Jamie's part, Liam agrees to go out with her on one condition: she tells him her real name. Pretty silly, but with connections to The Funny Thing About Love. Jily AU Week, genderswap


**Not great, and I've caved to the pressure. Coffeeshop fic. For those of you who've read The Funny Thing About Love, I apologize for any overlap or similarities. Although… look out for some references…**

**Caribou Coffee is a regional branch, and is contained solely in the Midwestern United States.**

**Jily AU Week, Day 4: Prompt 2: Genderswap**

Liam Evans was not having a good day. He'd been working at Caribou Coffee all morning, and it had been alright until a business man had come in during the lunch rush, and forced him to re-make his vanilla venti _seven times._ By the time he was finally satisfied, the line snaked almost out the door.

Admittedly, many of the customers sympathized with him, and after sending rude looks at the customer, offered him kind smiles, and tips that were larger than strictly necessary.

Still, it was the principle of the thing. Vanilla ventis were not easy to make.

Two hours later, as Liam was finishing his shift, four girls came in, laughing loudly. Their orders were fairly simple, for which Liam was very grateful.

The first two, quiet and polite, ordered their coffee, and gave the names Remy and Petra for their drinks.

The second two, clearly much louder with a happy-go-lucky aura practically dripping off of them gave much stranger names. The first, rather absurdly gorgeous girl smirked, and said, "Padfoot," as though challenging him to contest it.

He said nothing, merely raising an eyebrow, and turned to the other girl. "And you?"

She also smirked. "Prongs. But say, what's _your_ name?"

"My name is entirely inconsequential to you."

"But see, it's not, because I asked."

"That makes no sense. Here's your coffee."

She took it, smiling. "Don't you worry. I'll get it out of you eventually.

She's back the next day, this time without her friends. She had, of course, picked a time of day when there was next to nobody in the café, so she could talk to him for as long as she pleased.

"Are you going to tell me your name yet?"

Liam rolled his eyes. He seemed to do that a lot where this girl was concerned.

"You haven't even told me your name. Why should I tell you mine?"

"I have told you my name," she says cheekily. "It's Prongs."

There he is, rolling his eyes again. "Right. Well, I'll tell you then."

"Really?" she says, moving closer. There's an excitement in her eyes that seems to Liam like she's actually expecting him to tell her.

"Of course," he responds cheerfully. "It's Elvendork."

She stares at him for a moment. "No it's not."

He fakes an offended look. "Really. You're certainly not one to judge. Your name is _Prongs."_

"Prongs is an excellent name!"

"Yeah. For forks, maybe."

And so it becomes tradition. She comes at the same time every day, and addresses him as Elvendork, while he calls her Prongs. They receive many strange looks from other customers, but she doesn't seem to care, so neither does he.

One day she takes another step.

"You know, Elvendork," she says thoughtfully. "We only ever talk for moments in this coffee shop."

"Well, you can't expect much more," he says, handing her a cup. (Medium latte, double shot espresso.) "Really, you only come in to order coffee, and I'm working. There's only so much time I can spend on fork-named girls."

She looks serious, which unnerves him slightly.

"Well," she says finally. "I think that we should talk after you get off work sometime."

He cocks an eyebrow. "Sorry, Prongs darling, but I don't spend time with people whose names I do not know."

She looks slightly hurt, which is also new to him, but immediately covers it up with an amused faҫade. "Very well. But I guarantee you'll relent eventually. They all do."

Liam can't resist rolling his eyes. "Oh, you go to so many other coffee shops and refer to the barista as 'Elvendork'?"

"Oh, all the time," she says airly, grabbing her coffee and walking out the door.

The next day another barista named Marcus begs to close the café. He explains that a friend called in a favor, and wants to have the Caribou space to himself, because his friend wants to bring a date here. He finds it slightly odd that someone would want to bring his girlfriend to Caribou after closing time, but he makes no argument.

As usual, 'Prongs' walks in a few hours after lunch time. She orders her coffee, and looks him straight in the eye. "My name is Jamison Charlotte Potter, and I demand that you spend time with me after your shift today!"

He grins. "Well Jamison. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Jamie," she corrects.

"Jamie," he repeats, savoring the name. It's perfect for her.

"So?" she says expectantly. "What time do you get off?"

"Four," he says reflexively. That's in an hour and a half.

"Fine," she says brusquely. "I'll wait here."

And so, one and a half hours later, Liam finds himself walking down the street with Jamison Charlotte Potter.

"You never did tell me your name, Elvendork," she says suddenly.

Liam smiles to himself.

"It's Liam. Liam Evans."


End file.
